I learned so much from these posts, Priscilla. Your wisdom and insights resonate with my own sense of listening to my heart and inner knowing. Thank you. Gail Storey
Thank you for this beautiful and insightful post! I have three kids and have been thinking lately about how to help them hear and trust their own inner voices more. I know it’s important to teach by example and by the respect I show for them. Any other tips?
Hi, Lisa, great question. To let people figure things out for themselves is really time consuming and takes a whole lot of patience! I imagine this is especially true when you're a parent (I don't have kids). One other thing that occurs to me, depending on their ages, is the little murmuring aside: "Did you hear how [that adult] talked to [that child]?" And then take it apart a little with them, so their radar gets sharpened for outside the family. I also think about a quiet spot in the house: anyone can go there to catch up with themselves, and when someone is curled up in that corner, everyone respects what they're doing. And then lots and lots of nature time, of course, to practice listening to all the creatures.
But I'd love to hear from YOU: What strategies work for you in your family?
Oh wow, I hadn’t read any of your other posts yet and just found you through your post on Notes, but looking at your Substack, I now realize that my sister recommended your memoir to me this past fall, and it’s been sitting on my dresser waiting for me ever since. I’ll take stumbling into your work here as a sign!
Love this! I wish we had all been taught to listen to our inner voices. Our society would look so different now. It's hard, as social animals, not to go with the crowd, so we can use all the help we can get. What are your suggestions for cultivating the inner voice as an adult?
What a juicy question, Rosana! So juicy I've been thinking about it all day and might have to answer in another post. But for now, two things:
(1) Nature, nature, nature. Sitting in nature. Breathing in the wind. Watching the paths of birds. Swimming. Forest bathing. Staring at hills. Sitting under a tree and viewing a situation in one's own life from the perspective of the tree. What would/does the tree say?
(2) Trust the stronger pull. Remember that Rumi line? "Let yourself be silently drawn / by the stronger pull of what you really love" (Coleman Barks version, Essential Rumi). We often try to make decisions by assessing the pros and cons of a situation and making a rational choice. That fits the model of objective knowing—knowing purged as much as possible of feeling and subjectivity. But the riches lie in reaching for something deeper, something more whole. When faced with a choice, big or small, let the attention settle a little deeper in the body, and pay attention to what is pulling you. Where is the stronger pull? Name it. Open to it. And then trust it. (NB: this is the hard part.) We are trained to discount that pull rather than trust it. Because of that training, we have a loud Minimizer voice inside, and it will try to convince us of all the ways that "what you really love" is just not feasible. "It's silly. It's laughable. It's not rational. It's not scientific. It doesn't make sense. No one will understand. It's costly. You'll go bankrupt!" So one way to start cultivating the inner voice is just to notice how often the Minimizer barges in with its megaphone. And how often we acquiesce instead of listening to what we really love. The Minimizer, I've found, may often be right; it CAN be costly (or ridiculous or ... ) to choose what we love. But so much more expensive to let ourselves be stopped from finding out where that stronger pull might lead!
Thanks for your thoughtful response! Yes, nature. It can be hard to get enough of it. Funny, my next Substack post is about nature. ;-) But I don't often spend the time just sitting in it. Need to do more of that!
I'm certainly familiar with that Minimizer voice! But as I get older, I've felt more freedom to go with the stronger pull, and that's been a welcome change. Thanks for your lovely posts!
Love this Priscilla! Thank you. Very thought-provoking. I have been asking for years, how did we get here? Slowly the roots are being revealed. Reading your 'birch tree' article today and you write about hierarchical dualism prioritising voice over listening. Those who are allowed to speak have the power. That's why speaking our truth can be so powerful. It's an act of reclamation in a society in which there is so much that needs reclaiming, re-cognizing, re-membering... a joy to find you here!
Thank you for dropping by, Jaqueline! I’m delighted to find your company. Yes, speaking our truth cuts through all that external authority. And standing with the truth speakers amplifies their voices.
Thank you for this lovely read. May we all find our way to that beautiful inner sanctum, and support others to wander inward as well. Love!
Yes! Glad you enjoyed it, megan.
I learned so much from these posts, Priscilla. Your wisdom and insights resonate with my own sense of listening to my heart and inner knowing. Thank you. Gail Storey
Hey, thanks, Gail! It can be a long road to our own hearts, can't it? And so worth it!
Thank you for this beautiful and insightful post! I have three kids and have been thinking lately about how to help them hear and trust their own inner voices more. I know it’s important to teach by example and by the respect I show for them. Any other tips?
Hi, Lisa, great question. To let people figure things out for themselves is really time consuming and takes a whole lot of patience! I imagine this is especially true when you're a parent (I don't have kids). One other thing that occurs to me, depending on their ages, is the little murmuring aside: "Did you hear how [that adult] talked to [that child]?" And then take it apart a little with them, so their radar gets sharpened for outside the family. I also think about a quiet spot in the house: anyone can go there to catch up with themselves, and when someone is curled up in that corner, everyone respects what they're doing. And then lots and lots of nature time, of course, to practice listening to all the creatures.
But I'd love to hear from YOU: What strategies work for you in your family?
Oh wow, I hadn’t read any of your other posts yet and just found you through your post on Notes, but looking at your Substack, I now realize that my sister recommended your memoir to me this past fall, and it’s been sitting on my dresser waiting for me ever since. I’ll take stumbling into your work here as a sign!
I love it! :-) If you read the book, I hope you enjoy it, and I'd love to hear your thoughts/feelings/comments.
Love this! I wish we had all been taught to listen to our inner voices. Our society would look so different now. It's hard, as social animals, not to go with the crowd, so we can use all the help we can get. What are your suggestions for cultivating the inner voice as an adult?
What a juicy question, Rosana! So juicy I've been thinking about it all day and might have to answer in another post. But for now, two things:
(1) Nature, nature, nature. Sitting in nature. Breathing in the wind. Watching the paths of birds. Swimming. Forest bathing. Staring at hills. Sitting under a tree and viewing a situation in one's own life from the perspective of the tree. What would/does the tree say?
(2) Trust the stronger pull. Remember that Rumi line? "Let yourself be silently drawn / by the stronger pull of what you really love" (Coleman Barks version, Essential Rumi). We often try to make decisions by assessing the pros and cons of a situation and making a rational choice. That fits the model of objective knowing—knowing purged as much as possible of feeling and subjectivity. But the riches lie in reaching for something deeper, something more whole. When faced with a choice, big or small, let the attention settle a little deeper in the body, and pay attention to what is pulling you. Where is the stronger pull? Name it. Open to it. And then trust it. (NB: this is the hard part.) We are trained to discount that pull rather than trust it. Because of that training, we have a loud Minimizer voice inside, and it will try to convince us of all the ways that "what you really love" is just not feasible. "It's silly. It's laughable. It's not rational. It's not scientific. It doesn't make sense. No one will understand. It's costly. You'll go bankrupt!" So one way to start cultivating the inner voice is just to notice how often the Minimizer barges in with its megaphone. And how often we acquiesce instead of listening to what we really love. The Minimizer, I've found, may often be right; it CAN be costly (or ridiculous or ... ) to choose what we love. But so much more expensive to let ourselves be stopped from finding out where that stronger pull might lead!
Thanks for your thoughtful response! Yes, nature. It can be hard to get enough of it. Funny, my next Substack post is about nature. ;-) But I don't often spend the time just sitting in it. Need to do more of that!
I'm certainly familiar with that Minimizer voice! But as I get older, I've felt more freedom to go with the stronger pull, and that's been a welcome change. Thanks for your lovely posts!
Love this Priscilla! Thank you. Very thought-provoking. I have been asking for years, how did we get here? Slowly the roots are being revealed. Reading your 'birch tree' article today and you write about hierarchical dualism prioritising voice over listening. Those who are allowed to speak have the power. That's why speaking our truth can be so powerful. It's an act of reclamation in a society in which there is so much that needs reclaiming, re-cognizing, re-membering... a joy to find you here!
Thank you for dropping by, Jaqueline! I’m delighted to find your company. Yes, speaking our truth cuts through all that external authority. And standing with the truth speakers amplifies their voices.
Love this, thank you. Yes... its about joining the chorus. Lifting as we rise.